Tuesday, September 27, 2011

October 2

I cannot sleep again. It is 4:08 am, and I have class at from 8:30 am to 6:00 pm tomorrow.

It is undeniable, this time of year is on my mind.

I have come a very long way from last year. I have learned some things. I have packed memories away. Losing Rachael is something I will never completely recover from. Losing her, and not knowing why, is even more difficult.

I loved her as much as I have ever really loved anyone.

She taught me some things, and maybe not lovely things, but important none-the-less. Of course they go against all my tendencies of fostering relationships that are real, but it is realistic to at least consider:

  • There is no one who you can put all your self in without risking losing too much if they ever decide to leave.
  • Anyone can leave/be taken at any time.
  • Can you still be whole after they do?


I am not ever going to write about this again.

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