What do you want??

You know what I want?

All of these things, possibilities they call it, opportunity, 'potential' --- Grad school, the things I could do with my life,

They talk about it like they have stock, investment, time that gradually becomes worth more the more I live. They talk about passion like it is something that is expendable, something that runs out. Hurry.

No.

I want people to be safe, before they get hurt. I want women and children to not be afraid of those who are supposed to love them, and I want innocent people not to suffer for the corruption of others who were hurt somehow. I want the corrupt prosecuted, I want them (even them) to be treated as human, I want everyone else to understand that you can't deny them (even them) this, or else bits of your own humanity begins to be revoked.

I want to jump out of a plane and land somewhere I may never be again, learn languages just so I can tell women with sad eyes that their children are beautiful, ask them to teach me how with out knowing what I will be taught, and I want to never ever 'get it out of my system', I don't want to find a husband because that is just kind of what you do around twenty--- why not marry some man when I am 82, and spend the rest of our lives listening to the wonderful stories, imagining the beautiful places and never giving them up? Why not love when you find the person, not when the timeline tells you to?

I want to cry and laugh and be completely honest, feel what hurts (pain is there for a reason)
I want to scream at you when I am angry, call you out on your falsities, have you call me out on mine. I want to live according to no formula, I want to use my mind to consider, my soul to consider.

I want to be absurd, happy, content--- acknowledging the pain of this world, the way that the people are hurting, but not let it consume me

SO they ask me, constantly, always, What do you want?? What are you going to do?? What is your one year, two year, five year life plan?

It can be hard to explain.